I was struck by a comment I was at the receiving end of. It went like this, “I don’t see the point of what you write about anymore, all I see is how uncomfortable your life is and the suffering that comes with living with dare, why are you doing it if it isn’t working ? “
I was stopped in my tracks!
What do you mean it isn’t working ? What do you mean it is hard and tough and comes with suffering ? I thought that was a given ?
And then I realised, this probably was how most people see change – as something that immediately creates benefit and removes discomfort, with no travel period between here and there.
If you see change as something quick, comfortable and with no impact then, living with dare probably isn’t for you. Then again – you may be one of the lucky few who have learnt to create change with ease and little negative emotion. One of my goals is to get to that point, where I create change in perfect acceptance creating flow and ease – until then I will do my best, start and start again until if get to ‘there’.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE JOURNEY TO A WORLD RECORD
This idea that change is comfortable is perhaps because we don’t share the uncomfortable parts of the journey, as if we are embarrassed to admit it was hard and hurt, so here is what you don’t know about my world record journey – it sucked!!! For 5 years (possibly more) I was miserable! I cried – a lot! I felt abandoned and all alone and I lived with an almost paralysing fear that wasn’t helped by not having a support system that believed in what I was trying to do. In fact, I was actively undermined and in the most subtle and treacherous of ways, by my friends – all done in a very kind, very loving manner, for my own good.
UNTIL I reached 186 meters and the cave depth record and then, 5 years of pain were the best investment I had ever made. Looking back now, the emotional and mental skills I was forced to learn to my chosen ‘there’ are simply priceless and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Not one moment of that suffering would I give up, not one tear!
If you had met me back then you would have wondered if a world record was worth it all and advised me to stop – and you would have been wrong!
MANAGING BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
So next time you find yourself in a world that seems unstable, uncomfortable and filled with suffering, don’t give up and don’t give in. Fill yourself with your desire for something else and focus on ‘there’. Don’t get persuaded or guilted by other people’s perceptions and opinions – you are the only one who can choose the price.
I won’t give up suffering if I have to give up living with dare! That is a prices I will gladly pay BUT, suffering is always a choice, which means I need to focus on finding the choice I can’t see is creating the suffering my friends see.
Ask yourself (as I am asking myself) why is it taking so long ? What are you not letting go of that is creating this moment of pain ? How are you creating this suffering and is it really necessary ?
Would it not be easier to just move on ? Why wait half here, half there ?
I wait for people, but that drags the moment out, because the people you are waiting for aren’t going to get it! They aren’t going to understand. This is what it is and that is OK. They have their path that they are choosing and it doesn’t have to be yours. They don’t have to walk the road with you. They may not know this, they may resist you going on without them, and that is also ok. You are living with dare and love for people doesn’t require you to hold onto them, love allows you to let them live their lives – but I guess that is another blog on its own – how we get trapped by the people around us, the people we love, the people we trust.
Until then, keeping taking steps! Keep starting! Keep learning! Keep trying different things until you get ‘there’.
Live with Dare. Create the life YOU want to live!