The biggest frustration I have had over the last decade or so (which is how long I have been on this journey), has been the fact that no matter what course I do or what book I read, when the novelty has worne off, I still feel trapped and in the same place I was before (admittedly now a tad poorer). I accumulated this wealth of knowledge but I had no cooking clue how to apply it in my day to day life, which meant no clue how to create the change I was so desperately looking for. It was almost as if the world to which I was looking for answers really had no clue itself. It certainly did not want me to figure that out and it especially did not want me to break away from the herd and find my freedom.
The further down this path I go the more I realise how trapped in illusion we are and the biggest illusion was the thought that I had to ‘find myself’ before I could change my life. Not that anyone could tell me how to, so I watched what other people were doing… and became fascinated byt the enthusiasm people applied to this single task (not to mention decades of their lives). My problem was that no-one seemed to be actually finding themselves, instead they seemed to be lost in the process – always moving but never getting anywhere. And then, assuming that they actually did finally find ‘themselves’, they were now right back where they started. In fact, all that hard won knowledge was now nothing more than intersting, they still had to do the hard work to create the person they actually want to be.
I started to take a real good look at the books (and courses and guru’s) and realised why I was so frustrated – not one gave me a tried and tested practice that I could use to create the change that they expounded with enthusiasm. I was trapped in world of theory when what I wanted was something real. WIthout fail, every book told me how it would be, never how I could get there!
All the experts, all the courses, all the books and not one said, just do it! Stop faffing and go out and create yourself! Stop looking for an answer from everywhere else, the only place you will find your answer is inside yourself. Stop looking for the reasons and events that created you – who you are is who you are, you can not go back and change a thing but you can stop procrastinating and finally accept what is and most importantly accept responsibility for where you are.
Not one said you are here! This is what you created and it does not matter that you created it unconsciously – it is what it is! The only way to change it, is to start CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING. The only way is forward and that requires you to start Living! Live Consciously, Live Enlightenment, Live Empowered…but LIVE!!!
And so I stopped buying into the illusion. I stopped living Hope’ium and created the practice I call Living Enlightenment. It allows me to let go of the past and create who I want to be in this moment, for myself! Living Enlightenment allows me to Live Empowered, even when the world falls apart and the carefully crafted illusion I have that I have some control evaporates…because with Living Enlightenment I practice being able to choose who I want to be in every and any moment of every and any day.
I may never become a butterfly, but in a world of caterpillars I choose to be the best caterpillar I can be!