I sometimes forget that the things that are basics for me might not be for you and this is one of those fundamental pieces of wisdom that you need if you want to live with dare and start creating the life you want to love. You can’t create a negative!

Take a bad habit (smoking is a popular one, mine is biting my finger nails). Every time I try I focus on what I don’t want to be doing, not biting my nails. Which means I am totally focused on what I don’t want and as what I think about expands, next thing I know my entire day is consumed with thoughts about biting my nails…needless to say after two days of this my nails are toast. But everything changes when I focus on what would be there if I what I didn’t want wasn’t there. What would replace it ? If I wasn’t biting my nails, what would I be doing ? In that one simple moment I am able to redirect my energy and even better, actively cultivate a new habit that consumes my thoughts to the point where I forget my old bad habit.

Now take that thinking into what you are trying to create, your ‘there’. How much of your definition of ‘there’ is about what you don’t want ? For most people ‘there’ is all about what they don’t want which is where the problem comes.

Here is how to fix it:

Step 1 : If what you don’t want wasn’t in your life, what would be there in its place ?

This is where most people give up, simply because if they knew the answer to this then they would have created it already. Don’t give up just yet. Instead take a deep breath and let your imagination go. How do other people seem to manage this ? Put yourself into a place where what you don’t want is absent and just see what starts to fill that place.

This takes time and practice but be ruthless with it, this is the step that will launch you into the life you want to love! The more time you spend with it, the clearer your picture of ‘there’ will become and the more positive. The clearer and more positive that picture becomes, the easier it is to create.

Step 2 : Can you name the opposite of what you don’t want ?

One of my I don’t wants is, “I don’t want to be fighting with everyone”. But what does that look like ? If I wasn’t fighting what would  I be doing ? What would take its place ? What happens if I change the sentence into to, “I want to be at harmony with my world”. Even as I type it there is a fundamental shift in my energy and optimism. When I pick the opposite of what it is I don’t want I find it easier to choose thoughts and actions that will create that.  It is hard to not doing something, but it is easy to do something else, so find that something else

Step 3 : Re-train your thoughts to move from scarcity or the lack of what you want to what you want.

Be ruthless about this, you need to be clear about what it is you want and when you find yourself thinking about what you don’t want you need to consciously choose to refocus on what it is you want. It will take time and you will at first find yourself constantly pulled back to your old way of thinking, but stick with it.

That is it! Three steps to own your dream and create it. The universe can not create a negative, it has to create something so if you simply remove what was there the universe has to fill it with something and guess what, the easiest something to fill that space up with is what was there before.

Become aware of how you are creating your there and make sure it is not about an absence of something and is instead about new something’s that replace what you don’t want.

Live with Dare ! Own your life, create your dreams, start choosing what you want!

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