You can only change those things that you are aware of.
Are you aware of who you are ?
What is your identity ?
How is it created ?
Take some time to sit with those questions. How is ‘me’ created ? If you are like me, your identity is made up of how other people think of you. It never occurred to me that there was another way until my coach challenged me on that. It felt, wrong to choose to construct my own reality, as if I was dismissing other people in the process. It felt fake and then she said, “Reality is always constructed! It is always something you create based on what is happening around you, so if it is always constructed then why choose to let other people’s thoughts and impressions and opinions create yours ?
Why not create something that works for you and supports you ?” If was a damn good question! So I did! I created a place where I got to choose what opinions mattered (mine). A place that revolved around me, my dreams and goals. A place where the rest of the world was invited to come share, but on my terms. A place where the rest of the world didn’t get a say about what was right and what was wrong. I realized that in the past I had always been trying to find a place in other people’s realities and that always meant leaving everything of mine behind. So I made the choice to no longer do that and then I realized, that was exactly what I had done deep diving.
For years I tried to get a place in Nuno’s reality because I knew from there I could get to my goal, only, when you exist in someone-else’s reality (using their power), you exist at their whim. To get deeper I had to stop hitting my head on a solid brick wall trying to get access and create a place in my reality where I could become deepest. I never knew that is what I did and for ten years I have been trying to find our how to do that again. So let me ask you again, how strong is your hold on your identity ? What is it that makes that identity up ? Your choices and thoughts and opinions or those of the people around you ? Do you have to leave yourself behind in order to achieve your goals by existing in other people’s realities ? What if you could change that ? What if you never had to worry about someone else’s opinion ever again ? What if you didn’t have to rely on anyone giving you permission to do what makes you laugh ? What if all it took was you choosing your own identity and never, ever letting anyone else define you ever again ?