The moment the euphoria started to wear off was the moment I realised that my world record was not an ending, but a beginning, one that may take my entire life to understand. When I get stuck I tend to look back at my diving to see if what I am experiencing now was something that happened back then and invariably it is. This journey to understand my real life seems to mimic my world record with uncanny familiarity, which is odd considering to become the deepest woman in the world I had to literally lay my life on the line, something a board room rarely requires.
So what is it that makes the difference between an every day diver and one who pushes her own (if not the world’s) limits? What makes a successful diver and how can I take that into my real life ?
Diving is an odd combination of obsessive preparation and then concentrated action. To do a deep dive requires planning, preparation and thought. To dive deeper than most people requires an obsessive mind that continually goes over the plan, trying to find the weak spot, that thing I have not thought of that may stop me in my tracks. Yet, the moment my head sinks under the water all the stress and worry simply stops. The time is now to dive, to trust that I have done what was required and instead to be focused on this moment, attuned to what is happening so I can react in time. The moment my head sinks underwater I feel complete freedom and total power. I have no idea what will happen, yet I don’t try and control it, instead I relax, knowing I have done what I can, it was either enough or it wasn’t. Which is an attitude I battle to find back in the real world. It is as if underwater is the only place I am able to let go and have faith, the only place where I concede that my job is to control myself, not what can happen, so I focus on myself, on having the skills and the state of mind that will allow me to cope with any situation. When I dive, I feel prepared.
Have the last seven years been about finally realising that underwater I never try and control the circumstance, instead I have faith in myself and the universe and so I work with the circumstances I get ? Do I really spend so much time trying to control everything outside of myself that I never do the work that allows me to feel in control of myself and so able to manage anything ?
Is that the lesson I have been missing all this time ? To simply let go control, have faith and focus inwards on creating myself ?